It’s my birthday! And as I reflect, this is what I’ve learnt so far.

So, firstly, Happy Birthday to all my fellow Virgos out there! It’s our season so you better do the most ! And pleeeease leave the work alone and go let your hair down.
I know we’re perfectionists but heaven you need to go let loose today boo, please!

Secondly, as today’s my birthday and I like to reflect… a LOT! I figured best that I share some of the things I’ve learnt throughout my 20 something years on this crazy planet we call Earth. Thing is, this Blog is like my little online diary/scrapbook of sorts, so in a way I’m hoping for my kids to one day come on here and read what crazy things their Mom had to share. Cute right ? I know ! lol

THESE ARE THE THINGS I’VE LEARNT SO FAR:

• FIND GOD

Honestly, when you’re in your 20s hearing about God is like having your parents tell you to wash the dishes or take out the trash (eyeroll). It’s like being told about that one thing you want absolutely no business in right ? I blame how God is introduced to us when we’re young cause let’s be honest, our parents shove the whole religious thing in our face and expect you to from the bat love God immediately because…well… they do. But I’ve come to learn that you can’t impose or force someone to have faith in something as inexplicable as God. It’s such a personal experience that requires one to go through it at their own pace & time. I only fully started having a solid relationship with God last year, when the Spirit revealed itself to me in my DARKEST hour! (blog post on this is coming). My life since then has taken a turn for the better! I have so much joy in my heart and really life’s not the best but it’s been AMAZING because I now truly understand “God” and through understanding the Spirit, I’ve come to understand life i.e. why I’m here, what my purpose is and what the Spirit wants from all of us which is to love and be loved.

• OTHER PEOPLE’S SUCCESSES ARE NOT YOUR FAILURES

Read this over and over and over and over again until it sinks in! You need to understand that life’s like a school. We all are in different “Spiritual journeys” just like levels/grades in school. Our paths are NOT the same. We might be achieving the same things but we are NOT on the same road. NOPE! NHA! HELL NO! And the sooner you understand this the easier and lighter you’ll see how life is. You need to focus on your own journey and work on your OWN achievements. Set your own goals and see through to them at your own pace. This is not saying procrastinate and be lazy but you need to want to see yourself progress, so you move according to the resources made available to you. Just because Sipho and Melissa are married and you’re not doesn’t mean that you’ve failed at life, it means that they were at a point in their lives where this was possible to see through. You could be wanting marriage but deep deep down in you are you really ready? The person you’re with, do they really make you happy? are you fulfilled? Can you FINANCIALLY afford marriage !? Don’t look at another person’s level 99 and compare it to your level 98. Focus on yourself and the things you can achieve and keep pushing.

• YOU CAN ALWAYS START OVER
  

And as MANY times as you’d like! Which ties to what I said above. The moment you focus on yourself and focus on the things that YOU can achieve and at your own pace, you will realise that life’s no competition at all. If you feel that you’ve messed up you can dust yourself up and try again. However, it is important that you strive for your own progress. Do things that make YOU proud and if they don’t…well…change them or change the mindset if you can’t change them immediately, but in whatever you do, know that you are not a Rock or Tree. Use the breaths given to you on Earth to constantly strive to be better by chopping and changing whatever you feel is hindering your progress.

• YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW YOUR LIFE PANS OUT
  

I remember before resigning, when my Spirit guides were trying everything they can to get through to me on this realm. This one day, they intuitively led me to this particular post that was about this Woman who dropped everything at the age of 40 to pursue her passion and I remember reading that post and how that voice again inside of me kept asking “Do you want to be 40 & miserable or do you want to commit yourself NOW to working for the life you want to live when you’re 40 !??”
I remember putting down my phone and being like HELL NO! I don’t want to be a miserable 40 year old, I want to live! And I want to enjoy MY life and do the things that I want. I suppose, at long last my Spirit guides had managed to get through to me cause since then I’ve never looked back. See, what happened is at that particular moment, it dawned on me that no one’s responsible for how my life plays out but myself. No one is going to give me an all Black Convertible Range Rover Evoque Sport with Red Leather Seats, unless I, Tash, bust my ass off everyday until I get it. So I set out my goals and committed myself then and there to my dreams and to never look back no matter how hard it gets and boy! It’s been a bi*** but we continue.

• AGE IS JUST NOTHING BUT A NUMBER, KEEP IT AWAY FROM LOVE & MILESTONES

Well, need I say more !? So what if you haven’t gotten a car before the age of 25, or a house before the age of 26 or children before the age of 28 ? or Love before the age of 30 ? STOP USING AGE TO MEASURE YOUR SUCCESSES IN LIFE!
There is nothing that will guarantee you stress and misery than pacing yourself according to societal age standards. Sweetheart, just stop it and move at your own pace… and in the words of a very wise person… “Stay in your own lane!”.

• THE WORLD HATES WOMEN, MORE SO BLACK WOMEN…BLACK LIBERATED WOMEN…
  

“That skirt is very short, why don’t you change it?”, “Women aren’t meant to drink like that Sis”, “Sit properly, what are Men going to say?”, “You’re still sleeping, how are you going to get a Husband one day?”, “Why are you always Mad?”

I’ve observed and still am, how the World hates to see Women who are liberated exist. Like, “how dare you oppose all these patriarchal beliefs and standards that exist to keep you tamed !? How dare you have a voice and mind to want to do your own thing !?“
Growing up my family would tell me that I am going to have a hard time in the world with this mouth of mine and I never used to understand what they meant till I became an adult and started seeing how the liberated, nope, black liberated Women were always being shut down, shamed, humiliated for simply existing the way that they want.

I’ve had my own run ins with people who’ve made it a point to make me feel somewhat bad for existing the way I want and for speaking my mind and I won’t list all my personal experiences but look around you, we get criticized for everything we do that defies patriarchal standards. Strippers/sex workers are always being humiliated for using their bodies to make Money but the Clients that create this demand never receive the same backlash.
Women that choose abstinence are reminded about their “eggs rotting” but the Men are praised for “being patient“.
A Woman that has sex on the first date is cheap, but a Man that does that is praised for “baggin’ her“.

A threesome with the Man asking for another Woman is still a “threesome” but when a Woman asks for another Man it all of a sudden becomes a “Train“. Go figure…

• ALWAYS BE KIND!

We are creatures of unconditional Love and Grace. This is why when people extend unkindness to you whether you know them or not it doesn’t sit well with you.
One of the greatest gifts you can bestow another is that of being Kind. In fact, this is life’s greatest hack to receiving blessings, but the catch is it must come purely from the heart and it should be with no expectations at all. If someone’s in need lend a helping hand and don’t wait for a thank you. True kindness lies within the act of giving without the something in return.

However, with that being said, be always ready to walk away from situations that make you feel bad or abuse your kindness. Be kind and not a Doormat! Very NB that !

• AND LASTLY; ALWAYS BE YOURSELF

When they try to fit or mould you into their shiny glass boxes, PLEASE, disappoint them at every turn!

There’s power in being yourself, I mean… that’s the reason why we’re not all the same. Learn to love yourself wholeheartedly, learn to embrace your shortcoming and to be proud of your achievements, you’re trying your best!

It’s ok to be inspired by others but learn to find true inspiration from yourself. You are a being made up of God’s conscious, there’s no phenomenal power than that! Stop taming yourself for others. If they can’t keep up with your energy shift and move on. Unchain yourself from the: “what are people going to say?”mentality… What are you going to say when you’re on your deathbed playing back all the times you wish you were just a lil’ you !? Please, drop the facade and learn to show up as yourself. The World, Universe….all of this is always working in your favor, trust me when I say, when you walk in your power you will start attracting the people meant to walk with you and your journey will be beautiful because when you defy the one thing that society wants us to do the most (be the same)…you start to live! and for the first time in a long time, you will truly understand what it means to be ALIVE! WAKE UP!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! GOD IS WITH ME, I’M GOOD!

HONESTLY THIS WAS MY MOOOD AFTER MY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!

Anyway, time for me to pop more bottles! And possibly throw my Wig outta my Window because WOW!

p.s: Thank you for all the pre-birthday wishes and I understand a lot where confused as to when my birthday is. It’s today, the 27th of August! mcwaaaaaa!